really?

i woke up this morning feeling great i still cant believe me and jay finally had sex  i was still replaying that moment in my head while i got up and took a shower . today i had a meeting with the producer of the movie imma be in he wants all of the actors and actress to go out for breakfast so we can talk and get to know each other im excited to see who imma be in the movie with. i meet most def and he is funny but he also likes flirting with me and i dont like it he is not my type  he has too much pride and its not attractive but besides that he is a cool dude . jay dosent like the movie because i have to kiss mekhi like 100 times  to say so myself its too much but money is to be made so im not mad . after i got out the shower my phone started ringing so i quickly grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me and ran to my phone . it was kelly
(bey)hello
(kelly)hey bey
(bey)hey wassup
(kelly) are you busy
(bey)well alittle i got to get ready for this meeting 
(kelly)oh well ok call me back
(bey)ok i will 
(kelly)bey im not playing 
(bey)ok damn 
(kelly)bye
(bey)bye
after i got off the phone with kelly i hurried and got dressed i put on these shorts and a spaghetti strapped shirt then i kissed jay on the cheek and grabbed my heels and left . when i arrived there was only a few people i felt early and i like to be late well "fashionably late" anywho about a few minutes later everyone eles came and we went inside to eat i was really hungry but i didnt get alot because i didnt want to look greedy and knowing that im not the one paying . me and mehki built a good friendship  so the movie should be easy now that im cool with him . after we talked and got to know each other we all got a copy of the script then we practiced for a few hours and everybody really just chilled and relaxed and i was hungry so i walked to the store down the street mehki came also i hope he dont take this movie seriously because this is ONLY acting i would never cheat on jay i love him to much . when we got to the store i grabbed me some chips and a soda and payed for it then my phone started ringing from inside my purse i looked  to see who it was and it was jay 
(bey)hey baby you finally woke up 
(bjay)yea where are you 
(bey)im at the store imma be home to you in a few minutes dont worry
(jay)i want you now * whining*
(bey)are you really whining Shawn carter you are a grown ass man if you dont stop that shit you acting like a little bitch 
(jay)did you just call me a bitch
(bey)no i said you acting like one boo
(jay)yea whatever i got you when you get home
(bey)mmhhmm bye
(jay)you missing 3 words
(bey)i hate you
(jay)oh really 
(bey)im playing baby i love you
(jay)yea thats what i thought
(bey)oh hush
(jay)lol i love you too
(bey)ok 
after i got off the phone with jay mehki whole attitude changed to happy to depressed like he was sad or something or maybe a little jealous this dude better not like me ughhh why did my mom hAVE TO BLESS ME WITH THESES LOOKS  . me and mehki walked back to the studio where everyone was leaving i hugged everyone and left . i called kelly back while i was in the car and her ass aint want nothing but a conversation i swear kelly needs lots of help anyways i got home and jay swept me off my feet fright when i walked in i started giggling  like i always do lol he carried me all the way to the couch and layed me down and took my heels off for me then he climbed on top of me and kissed me 
(jay)i missed you all day
(bey)aww baby i missed you too
(jay)dont you want to quit the movie
(bey)now why would i do that
(jay)i dont know .
(bey)im not quitting the movie baby it seems like it gonna be fun and besides your just jealous because i have to kiss mehki aint you
(jay)nope
(bey)mmhhmm whatever. do you want me to cook tonight?
(jay)yes
(bey)ok well its only what about 4 something do you want to do something?
(jay)well me and you already got plans
(bey)what
(jay)we having lunch with rih
(bey)WHAT..jay no no no nooooooooo
(jay)its too late
(bey)well dont expect me too play nice 
(jay)please 
(bey)nope i dont like her and she dont like me so it is what it is
(jay)she does like you she listen to your album 
(bey)who dosent ? so that was a stupid answer
(jay)*sighs* fine
me and jay sat on the couch and watch tv while i acted like i was gonna be good even though i knew i wasnt because if that bitch say or do something out of line imma pop off she can try me if she want to . around 5:30 we headed out to the 40/40 club jay owned right when we walked in there she was just sitting there waiting on us she looked so damn stupid gosh she make me look like a queen or something . me and jay sat down and she said hey to us with that ugly fake ass accent that she turns on and off. jay said hey back but i just sat there and looked at her with a smirk on her face she rolled her eyes and i started laughing jay gave me this look like stop so i tried to stop 
(bey)so rihanna how long have you been singing i forgot?
(rihanna)a few years now
(bey)dang you know i just got started not to long ago and my album became number one
(rihanna)yes why
(bey)have you had a number one album before?
(jay)bey stop
(bey)its juat a question
(rihanna)no i havent
(bey)thats kinds wired that someone that just started has a number one album before someone that been doing this dont you think
(rihanna)bey do you cal-
(bey)its beyonce boo
(rihanna)well beyonce do you call yourself being funny because i dont see it
(bey)whoa. who are you talking to i was trying to have a nice conversation you taking it personal 
(jay)ok that enough 
(bey)im done
i cant take bey sometimes she know that was mean lol i love her though. anyways the rest of the time bey was throwing shade at rih and rih was getting pissed and bey thought it was amusing rih left early so me and bey did to when we got home she took a shower and i just took my clothes off and walked around in my boxers and sat on the couch . bey came out wearing boy short panties and one of my shirts with her hair in a messy bun i aint gone lie this girl is toooooooooooooooooooooooooo sexy got damn i am one lucky man lol and she good in bed hell great even . anyways she sat by me as i looked at her she kissed me then i wrapped my arm around her . this women was everything she can sing, act, dance, cook, sexed lol if thats even a word lol . me and bey was talking and i guess i said something that made her upset so i kept poking her calling her a baby and she kept hitting me so we ended up fighting well play fighting and it ended with me on the floor and she on top. she kissed my neck and that turned me on i flipped her over now i was on top i kissed her on the lips and all over her body . we ended up having sex right in the living room on the floor .this women knows how to do some amazing things we were laying on the floor trying to catch our breath because we went hard and rough .
(bey)wow jay i.i.i..........um speechless
(jay)i know but go cook my food women
(bey)dont talk to me like that say please
(jay)im not gone say please
(bey)well i guess ill cook for myself*gets up*
(jay)*pulls her down*please 
(bey)fine what do you want boy
(jay)anything
(bey)anything? *raises her eye brow*
(jay)lol go make my food
(bey)ha lol ok
i cooked me and jay something simple because i was really hungry so i didnt want to make something that was gonna take forever . when the food was done i made me and jay's plate and we sat at the kitchen table he prayed and then after that for some reasons i was thinking about children and i started thinking about my son
(bey)jay do you think i will ever see my son again
(jay)hopefully 
(bey)you know he would be in school now i miss him so much he was the only think that brung me happiness and joy when i was with lyndell
(jay)i know dont think about it ok
(bey)ok i love you
(jay)i love you more
(bey)no you dont
(jay)yes i do
(bey)*smiles* ok
(jay) i love your smile 
(bey)awww
me and jay spent time together for the past few weeks. and those weeks were the best its now one day before i have to go to California for the movie and me and jay are at his club i only had one drink and that was a sex on the beach i dont want to get really drunk because i got to fly to California tomorrow. im actually bored because im sitting here looking dumb while jay is partying somewhere. i looked around for him and when i turned my head i saw him kissing on this other girl and she wasnt pretty for what i saw her hair was a mess her clothes where dirty she looked horrible i know jay is drunk but that dont make up for his actions . i grabbed my purse and i walked out of the club so mad and pissed i didnt even call no one to come get me i walked all the way home and cried in the bed until like 2 hours later i heard jay coming in and he was falling over stumbling over everything because he was so drunk i mean like really jay im leaving tomorrow and im not going to see you in like 5 months and this is how he wants to act we need time apart i can tell but of course he would do something like this right after he fucked me i knew i shoulda wait some more but you cant live in the past . i helped jay takes his clothes off her was in his boxers and i helped him  get in the bed he had his back facing me and he instantly went to sleep i turned my back facing him too and i was crying while my eyes was close i was being silent so he wouldnt wake up and eventually i went to sleep sad and depressed .. :(

to be continued