BACK TOGETHER

the next morning i woke up to 4 missed calls from shawn he left me a text message saying for me to let him explain i didnt want to hear it so i just ignorded it and took a shower then got dressed and went downstars to eat braekfast . my mom was down there cooking  and it smelled good i walked in and grabbed a piece of backon that was on the napkin and sat on the stool in the kitchen. my mom could tell something was wrong with me so she asked
(tina)whats wrong baby
(bey)mama shawn lied to me
(tina)how..? what happened
(bey)he said he would be 100% faithful to me and never hurt me and then yeaterday i heard him say i love you too baby to someone on the phone then i told him to leave and thats why he is not here
(tina)did you let him explain it could of been a family member or something
(bey)and call them baby?
(tina)do he have kids
(bey)not that i know of
(tina)i dont know let him explain go in that rooom and talk to him because i really like him bey i can tell he is a good man
(bey)ok mama
i went in the room and i was kinda nervouse about calling him but i did. the phone rang only twice and he answered
(shawn)bey please let me explain
(bey)im waiting
(shawn)ok well bey i wasnt cheating on you that was my neice she was calling and telling me about her puppy my sister got for her
(bey)i never knew you had a niece
(shawn)yes she is only 5
(bey)aww jay im so sorry baby i should have listened im so stupid can you please forgive me and take me back
(shawn)i never lost you
(bey)i love you
(shawn)i love you too
(bey)i wanna meet her whats her name
(shawn)her name is maya
(bey)awww which one of your sisters had her
(shawn)annie
(bey)oh baby i want you  to come back
(shawn)i never left i just went to a hotel down the street
(bey)well could you come back
(shawn)im on my way
(bey)ok babe
im glad she let me explain to her because i would have lost the love of my life over this and over something that i didnt do i would never cheat on her she is everything to me these past year i fell in love with a angel she is completely beautiful funny and everything you could ever want in a women. but anyways i got back to the house around 5 pm i came late because i fell asleep after i talked to bey . when she saw me she ran in my arms i lifted her up in the air and kissed her on the lips i put her down and she just hugged me and told me how sorry she was i just hugged her and then we went in the house .. me and her dad talked and it turns out that he likes me and we are cool and im happy about that .2 days have past and were back in new york and today im taking bey to meet my niece  bey was sick though she had a cold so my niece was going to come over just for a little while .. 30 minutes later my niece came over and met bey then she left so she wont get sick .. for the past few day i've been taking care of her ever since she has been sick and i dont mind i mean ill do anything for her i love her aot but i got to get back to work i've been taking off so i can cater to her while she was sick she is getting a little better but she still got a bad cough and and running nose.. me and bey dont live together but alot of my stuff is at her house and alot of her stuff is at my house she stays over here most of the time so its like this is our house the only time she really go home is to get more clothes or something anyways right now bey is sleeping and im about to take a shower then make her some food  ... i took a shower for about 10 minutes then i went to starts making her food 20 minutes later i guess she smelled it cooking because she came walking down the stairs wrapped up in the blanket then went and sat on the couch i went over there and hugged her then kissed her on the forehead and said i loved her then i went back and finished cooking after about a hour it was done and she ate then got up and took a bath and put on some pj's because she wanted to stay in the house . i changed into some pj's and we spent the day together watching movies on the couch

god i love this man to death he does any and everything for me and thats one thing i loved about him he dont even have to buy me anything just him being here right now and taking care of me while im sick is enough im thinking about moving in but i dont know how he feels about it i mean im ready to move in because we been together for a while now and i feel that everything is going good right now and im ready to live with him i mean its already like i do becasue alot of my things are here .. our relationship is something serious and real we never had sex yet... well we tried it but i decided to stop him becase i wasnt ready and i love how he is willing to wait on me some dudes would just walk away if you not willing to give it up whenever they  ask but now im being more carefull of who i have sex with because i dont want to get pregnant and then have my baby tooken away from me again . i still think about my son i dont know who has him or where he is all i know is that he aint with me and that makes me so sad he would be about 5 right now and he would be going to school i miss him so much ughh i fucking hate lyndell i felt myself about to  tear up and shawn noticed and asked me what was wrong and i said nothing he looked at me and knew i was lying he asked me again and i just balled i cried and cried and then i told him about my son he said "bey dont worry about it ok we will have a child of our own that is never gonna get tooken away from us i promise baby" i wiped my eyes and said "ok baby" i still miss him even though what jay said lifted my spirts i still miss my first born . A WEEK PAST and im better im not sick anymore i've been releasing singles and going to practice for this movie imma be in called carmen i was happy... its called a "hip hopera" it should be cool mos def, bow wow, mekhi phifer and i was in the movie it should be a great movie its fun im playing carmen and she is like a groupie hoe that seduces this officer "officer hill" they start a relationship but carmen want to go to LA to live her dreams and hill dont want to go to LA and whatever then carmen and her two friends go to this fortune teller and they tell carmen she is going to die and at the end of the movie she gets shot and die im excited i've always wanted to be in movies shawn was a big part of this he helped me get this of course i had to adution and i got the part . me and jay tried to have sex that night but i stopped him again because im still not ready to give myself to him i mean like he saw me naked before and i saw him naked before its just im not ready to go there with him . tonight when i get home imma talk to jay about moving in . right now im with tyty and we are shopping for a dress that im wearing for the awards show that  is coming up we are in the mall and im trying on this pink strapless dress
(bey)what about this one
(tyty)no i dont like that one
(bey)ughh fine
i went back into the dressing room and tried on a few more after about 5 dresses i found one that was perfect . after that me and ty went out for lunch then we parted ways and i went home well to jay house when i got  there jay was sleep on the couch so i just went in the room and took my shoes and my pants off and layed in bed and watched a movie  i wasnt sleepy i just felt like laying in bed because i've been working all day .. a few hours later i got up and went downstairs and jay was still sleep i went to get something to drink and he crept up on me and grabbed me by my waist and kissed me
(shawn)when did you get home
(bey)a few hours ago 
(shawn)oh how was work
(bey)the usual
(shawn)oh nothing exciting
(bey)no not really
(shawn)oh ok well hmmmm you want to do something to night something fun?
(bey)of course but what kinda fun are we talking about *winks*
(shawn)not the same fun your talking about
(bey)*giggles* ok well what do you have planned?
(shawn)i dont know yet like we can drive around and find somewhere that will look cool
(bey)umm ok baby 
(shawn)ok put were your pants at
(bey)i took the off
(shawn)why
(bey)becasue i was hot and i needed to get out them hot pants and i like laying in the bed with my panties on its comfortable
(shawn)if you say so 
bey was looking good in her t-shirt and panties i mean i saw her in her panties before its just she looked extra good today but i didnt try anything even though i wanted to . she got her a soda and went back in the room i stayed down stairs and watched a football game then i went upstairs with bey and she was watching a low down dirty shame and she was laughing hard i love her laugh for some reason (i do too)   i layed in bed with her and she looked at me and started kissing me then she stopped and started watching the movie again.. when the movie went off bey said she needed to talk to me 
(shawn)ok 
(bey)well..... shawn how do you feel about me living with you like us in the same house perminatly 
(shawn)bey you know i would love that 
(bey)ok well im ready to movie in with you
(shawn)you sure you know im willing to wait on you
(bey)yes im sure but im still going to keep my apartment just in case we dont last
(shawn)i understand 
me and shawn talked some more then we got dressed in something not too fancy but some where around there lol im kidding not really i just wore my regular heels and some shorts and a shirt and this hat with my ray banns shawn got dressed im not gone go into detail about what he wore because its not important right lol but anyways me and shawn drove around and we found this night club that looked low-key we went in side and nobody noticed us there was no fans running  up to us no nothing we got really drunk that night the we couldn't even drive back home we had to call Julius to come get us and take us home. when we got home i went straight to the kitchen and made me and shawn another drink then i turn on some music real loud and me and shawn had our own little party it was fun as hell .. we feel sleep on the floor in the living room. the next morning i woke  with  a hangover i went in the medicine cabin and took a aspirin when jay woke up he was fine and i was so confused because we both was pissy drunk oh well. like i said i cant handle my liquor . my fone was in the room and when i got up there i had a message from a number that i recognized its just that i dont know who it is the text message said " so you come here with random niggas and dont come see me?" right then and there i knew that was lyndell and my whole mood changed i went downstairs and i felt kinda mad because he was still  messing with me like what the fuck move on damn i sat on the couch and jay knew something was wrong so it was no need to hide it 
(shawn)whats wrong bey
(bey)my ex lyndell
(shawn)what about him
(bey)he texted me
(shawn)what did he say
(bey)well you know when we went to houston he was like why didnt i come see him i dont know how he knew i was in houston someone must have told him
(shawn)oh dont text him back 
(bey)trust me im not 
(shawn)ok
(bey)oh baby umm.tyty coming over
(shawn)oh lord 
(bey)*giggles*he is not that bad
(shawn)yea and ciara can sing better then you
(bey)*laughs*shut up boy
me and jay got dressed and we ate somthing and then we played around like some 5 year olds and then ty came over he had another dude with him and he was nice looking . him and ty was holding hand i knew that . thats was his new boyfriend for the week . lol tyty always changing his boyfriend every week.. i let them in the house and they sat on the couch
(bey)so this is your boyfriend for this week huh?
(tyty)yup his name is brian
(bey)hey brian
(brian)hey
(tyty)omg girlllllllllll.. let me tell you so like i was in the store not to long ago and i saw these cute ass heels i was gone get them but they aint have them in my size but i took a picture of them 
(bey)let me see
(tyty)*shows her the picture*
(brian)them shoes are ugly as hell
(tyty)excuse him he is a ass
(bey)lol ok but they are cute though
(tyty) i know 
(brain)um beyonce do you have a bathroom
(tyty)of course they have a bathroom what do you think they piss and shit outside
(bey)TY!! stop being so damn mean
(tyty)whatever
(bey)but anyways got down the hall and its the second door on your right
(brain)ok thanks
(tyty)so bey where is yo boyfriend 
(bey)he went in the room
(tyty)that nigga aint want to see me or something
(bey)lol i dont know he dont want to hear us talking i guess
(tyty)whatever tell him to bring his ass out here
i went in the room and jay was laying across the bed watching spongebob i started laughing because i never knew he watched that i went over to him and i sat on his back and started massaging his shoulder and kissing his neck he turned around and i was on top of him and i kissed him on his lips for about 5 minutes then i broke the kiss
(bey)babe ?
(shawn)wassup
(bey)come in there with us please
(shawn)no
(bey)why not 
(shawn)because tyty is a faget and he always flirting with me
(bey)but his new boyfriend is here 
(shawn)no bey
(bey)*pouts*
(shawn)are you pouting
(bey)leave me alone
(shawn)ughhhh fine 
(bey)yay thanks babe
me and bey went in the living room and ty and his new boyfriend was kissing all over each other until ty saw me and then he pushed his dude off and said hey baby to me after i heard that i went back in the room
(bey)why did you do that ty
(tyty)to make him mad
(bey)you are something eles lol
me and tyty and brian talked somemore i swear tyty is something eles lol after they left i went in the room with jay and we cuddled up together and talked around like 5 something we went and got something from my house and then came back . we both didnt feel like cooking so we ordered some pizza and watched tv and made out (no sex) and we was play fighting then were got worn out so we took a shower and feel asleep

TO BE CONTINUED 




  

you lied

a few months have past since Aaliyah's funereal it was very beautiful and nice alot of her fans was there and i was crying the whole time her mother was there and we talked    and she helped me get over the fact that she was gone .im doing alot better im not that sad as much as i was shawn kept me company and was so nice to me after the funeral we went to his house and just cried in each other arms and that was the first time i saw him cry and it touched me. today me and shawn are going to houston so he can meet my parents we been on the plane for about 30 minutes and im ready to just get home and see my mom and dad and sister and of course my girls im kinda nervous because lyndell might show up and when he see that i moved on all hell is probably going to break loose *sighs* well i know jay will protect me *smiles*
(shawn)what you smiling about
(bey)oh nothing im just happy your meeting my parents my mom has been waiting to meet you ever since i told her we were together
(shawn)oh 
(bey)jay im kinda scared 
(shawn)why
(bey)i dont know ever since aaliyah died i've been scared to be on planes
(shawn)we been on the plane for almost a hour we will be fine i promise
(bey)ok im trusting you 
(shawn)ok
im kinda scared too but i cant let bey know that i put my arm around her and she fell asleep. we arrived in houston a few hours later and she drove we stopped by some place called Popeyes we dont have that in new york she said this was her favorite place to go when she was a child after we left there we went to her parents house . we got all the bags out the car and she just sat them by the door and she grabbed my hand and ran in the kitchen were her mom and dad and sister was
(bey)mommy i missed you *hugs tina*
(tina)i missed you to baby know introduced me to your boyfriend
(bey)ok well this is shawn or jayz
(tina)*shakes his hand*its nice to meet you
(shawn)you too
(solo)so jay can i call you jay? imma call you that anyways so there is no need to ask 
(tina)solange be respectful
(solo)sorry so jay what do you like about my big sister
(shawn)whats not to like about her
(bey)right!
(tina) Matthew why you didnt say nothing to shawn
(matthew)i dont approve of this beyonce you said he was only helping you with your album and helping you get your career started  
(bey)he did daddy but over time i fell in love with him dad we been together for more then a year dad he is a good person just give him a chance gosh
(matthew)whatever*goes into the livingroom*
(bey)please dont mind him he is stubborn sometimes
(shawn)its fine
(bey)mama wear is kelly michelle and alexis i want them to meet jay
(tina)up stairs
(bey)ok thanks
my father can be so stubborn sometimes hopefully he will come around because i plan on being with jay for awhile . anyways i grabbed jay's hand and i ran upstairs and bust the door open all three of them jumped 
(kelly)bey what the fuck you almost gave me a heart attack
(bey)im sorry but i want yall to meet jay
(alexis)wassup hov aint that you name
(shawn)*giggles*one of them 
(michelle)i always wanted to ask you how did you get jay from shawn?
(shawn)ummm
(bey)shawn dont answer that michelle tryna be funny
(tina)*yelling from downstairs*beyonce if you dont come get these back from out the front of my door way i know something
(bey)*yells*im coming *to the girls*yall better not mess with him while im going
(kelly)girl shut up and get out 
(bey)ok *leaves*
(alexis)jigga man have you seen the freak side of her yet
(michelle)*throws a pillow at her*ALEXIS that is none of our business
(kelly)have you
(shawn)we aint have sex yet
(alexis)WHAT!!! how long yall been together?
(shawn)a year and some months now
(michelle)mmmmm and she aint giving it up
(bey)*walks in* giving what up
(kelly)nothing anyways next subject bey how lang yall staying
(bey)2 days because i got to get back to new york because i got a few interviews
(alexis)im happy you aint with lyndell no more because you probably wouldnt be living your dreams and im happy you are thanks jay for helping her
(shawn)no problem
we all talked some more and jay got to know the girls alot my mom called us to eat and my dad didnt eat with us he ate in his office. i dont know why he acting like this he always saying how he only wants to see me happy and now that i am happy he dont like the person that makes me happy he liked lyndell and lyndell used to put his hands on me . anyways the girls left and it was only me my mom and dad jay and my sister me and jay was watching a movie in the movie room and my sister came in there and started questioning jay like she was a detective or something .after the movie went off me and shawn took a shower in separate bathrooms then we layed down in my old room . we fell asleep in each other arms. the next morning i went to take a shower and shawn was on the phone . when i got out the shower i just stood there a listened to what shawn was saying. he saying something that i couldnt understand but then i heard him say i love you too baby really clear and that broke my heart i put my clothes on real fast and then i opened the bathroom door and threw that stupid ass promise ring at him and i told him "so much for a promise ring huh? you cant even keep your promise"he tried to touch saying for me to let him explain but i dont want to here it i told him he could go back to new york and when i came back he could unsign me to his label because i really dont care . he keep saying how sorry he was but i didnt want to hear it i pack his stuff for him and sat his bags by the door and told him to leave and he said fine before he kissed me on my forehead and said that he would still love me i slammed the door and ran upstairs and cried in my pillow until i fell asleep again

TO BE CONTINUED

bye LILI (BABY GIRL)

august 25,2000
today i woke up and Shawn wasn't in the bed i got up and brushed my teeth then i went downstairs and he was down their watching tv i sat beside him and he put his arm around my shoulders and i layed my head on his chest and fell asleep well i tried to he woke me up and told me i couldn't go to sleep because he wanted me to meet a couple of his best friends so we was gonna go out for breakfast . i got up and took a shower then i put on some clothes that i packed and then i pulled my hair into a ponytail .then shawn got dresses and we headed out to breakfest. the ride took about 30 minutes and when we walked in i was so shocked at who i saw it was AALIYAH AND DAMON DASH im a huge aaliyah fan i remember when i used to have that tiny apartment i used to listen to her all the time oh yesh i quit my job at that fast food place because shawn said if i needed some money or anything i could get it from him anyways shawn introduced us.

(shawn)bey this is aaliyah and her boyfriend damon aaliyah is a really good best friend of mine and i felt it was time for yall to to meet.
(aaliyah)*shook bey hand*hi. im aaliyah
(bey)hello im beyonce
(shawn)this is damon 
(bey)hi
(aaliyah)so beyonce tell me about yourself i would always like to meet the girl that changes the way jay act *giggles*
(bey)well i feel its only fair to say im a huge fan when i saw you i felt like a group i just wanted to scream your name *giggles*but im from houston lived in new york for about 2 years im only 20 years old 
(aaliyah)*to jay* you got a young one huh? *laughs*
(shawn)yea i guess
(bey)and i have a little sister she is 15 she live in houston with my mom 
(aaliyah)i heard some of your song and i think you have a amazing voice 
(bey)thank you that mean alot coming from you
(aaliyah)no problem here take my number because i have a feeling we are gonna be good friends*gives bey her number*i gotta go come on babe

omg i cant believe i just met aaliyah and got her number this is so unreal i gotta tell my family when i get home . but anyways aaliyah and damon left and me and shawn stayed and talked and ate then we went back to his place when we got there i kicked off my shoes and plopped on the couch and then he came over and sat right next to me

(bey) how come you didnt tell me you knew aaliyah
(shawn)because she is a very special person to me so i had to make sure that i really wanted to be with you before i let you meet her i just don't let any random girl meet my best friend your the first girl i brung to meet her and it seems she really like you 
(bey)oh i love her i might be one of her biggest fans 

me and shawn talked for a while then i went home and told my family they were shocked i was to i still couldn't believe i met her . anyways 9 months went by and its may 4th, 2001 me and shawn been together for a year and a few months and we finally decided to tell everyone about out relationship. im dangerously in love with him i made a song about it and my album is titled dangerously in love im going to release it soon but today is the listening party and its 7:30 and the party started at 7 and im still getting dresses tyty has been doing my hair for hours but i dont like the hairstyles that he is giving me   . my mom made me a dress and i love it  bought me some heel to go along with the dress . the dress come above my knees and its strapless its very cute . 30 minutes past and its about 8 something and im finally got done when i got to the party everyone came up to me telling me how the songs sounded great i felt happy that they liked them . i couldnt find shawn i guess he is not here yet i found aaliyah we have became so close during these past months she is like a sister to me . she was sitting at the bar talking on the phone i walked over and sat by her and she was getting off the phone.

(aaliyah)hey bey i missed you girl
(bey)hey LiLi i missed you too how you been
(aaliyah)i've been busy with my brother and my album and everything now i got to go to Florida next month to start shooting my rock the boat video then sometime in august i have to fly to the Bahamas to finish the rest  
(bey)aww imma miss you . you know you have to keep in touch
(aaliyah)bey you know i will 
(bey)yea but have you seen shawn 
(aaliyah)i just got off the phone with him he told me when i see you to tell you to go to the back off the club
(bey) ok well ill see you later *hugs her* i love you 
(aaliyah)i love you too

damn aaliyah better have told her what i said i've been waiting here for about 20 minutes and then finally bey came she looked so beautiful. she walked up to me and hugged and kissed me and pushed her on the wall and i had my hand on the wall and the other on her waist she had her arms wrapped around my neck

(bey)hey baby *kisses him*
(shawn)oh im baby what happened to shawn
(bey)oh hush stupid
(shawn)oh so now im stupid *pouts*
(bey)shawn corey i know you are not pouting 
(shawn)naw im playing baby but your album sound good 
(bey)you really like it ?
(shawn)i love it 
(bey)thanks baby but why are we out here 

(shawn)i just wanted to talk to you alone 
(bey)oh well baby we can talk later but we have to get back to the party ok baby *kisses him*
(shawn)but imma miss your lips
(bey)you will be fine
(shawn)ugh fine
(bey)*giggles* your such a big baby 

me and shawn went back to the part and we drank and i got really drunk i cant handle my liquor so i was really drunk shawn was too but i was worst everybody started to leave but me and shawn left early when we got to his house we were all over each other we mad it to his room and he layed me on the bed and started kissing all over my body but i stopped him 

(bey)stop jay im not ready for this im drunk and when im not going to remember this and i want to remember the first time we make love and this is not the right time
(shawn)ok baby

 my album reached number one and i knew that i was gonna be the queen of this game but anyways time passed and today is the day my best friend leaves to go to flordia im so emotional im going to miss her she is the only best friend i have in new york now she is leaving i cant wait until she come back but anyways me and jay went to the airport to say good bye to aaliyah i hugged her and kissed her on the check she hugged and kissed me back and said that she loved me and i said i love you to bestie then she got on the plane and left . shawn talked to her brother rashad and damon for a little while and i was in the car talking to my sister

(bey)hey lil sissy how is everything down there
(solo)bey i wanna come live with you
(bey)why whats wrong
(solo)dad and mom are being stupid because i met this boy name Daniel he is a little older  then me but were in a relationship 
(bey) i cant just fly you out here with out mama and daddies permission
(solo)ughh i guess your right 
(bey)ok solange well shawn is coming so i guess ill talk to you later 
(solo)ok love you
(bey)love you too

when i got off the phone i layed my head on the window and just looked out of it while shawn was driving i really missed aaliyah already because its something i really wanted to talk about with her i needed to figure out who rihanna is because im not having a good feeling about her i would ask him about her but i dont know how he will react i dont know i guess ill ask him because a healthy relationship communicate  and if i want a healthy relationship im going to talk to him . we got back to his house and i went in and i dragged myself up to his room and crawled in his bed and put my head in the pillow he came up behind me and rubbed my back and told me not to worry he said that aaliyah was gonna be back soon i sat up in bed and gathered myself together so i can ask him about the rihanna girl 

(bey)jay umm who is rihanna 
(shawn)umm she is a girl i used to fuck with before you
(bey)are you still fucking with her
(shawn)hell no 
(bey)are you sure please dont lie to me
(shawn)yes bey i made a commitment to you that is what the promise ring is for and as long as im wearing this ring im going to be 100% faithful and honest 
(bey)*kisses him* thanks baby

a few months have past since aaliyah been gone bey has been doing good but i know this is about to hurt her feelings its august 25 2001 one of the most devastating days ever  this morning i got a call from rashad he was crying his eyes out i didnt know what was wrong i asked and he said aaliyah was dead i felt myself tearing up i asked how did she die and he said that he plane crashed on her way back to Florida cried   for a long time because that was my best friened i told her everything she was the one i talked to about my problem she was there for me no matter what she was fun to be around she had a good heart she was talented very beautiful she was a true angel now she is gone i prayed and then i said that got wanted her back to be a princesses in the royal castle were she belonged and that made me feel kinda better but i still dont know how to tell bey.just then bey came down stairs asking why aaliyah wasnt answering her phone  i put my head in my hands and said aaliyah was dead and she said what you are lying then she turned on the tv and it flashed bye "AALIYAH HOUGHTON DIED IN A PLANE CRASH"  bey sat there frozen then she finally broke down it hurt me so bad all i could do was hold her and cry right along with her she was confused 

(bey)this is not possible i was just talking to her last night and she said she was coming back home and we was gonna *sniffs* we were gonna go out and have a good time jay this cant be possible she is not dead jay she cant be its not possible she have to be alive jay *cries harder*
(shawn)look bey she is in a better place ok god is protecting her she will always be here spiritually probably not physically but she will still always be here *points to her heart* just remember that if you ever wanna talk to her just pray and im positive she will talk back bey . this is a happy time she is becoming the angel that she is ok so dont cry 
(bey)i cant stop crying i need to go home please take me home

jay took me home and i was so upset because she was gone i destroyed my apartment it was stuff everywhere shawn stayed and let me take out my anger then he held me and told me everything was gonna be fine all of my family and friends called me to see if i was fine and i said yes then i went in my room and prayed 
                         god please take good care of aaliyah please dont let nothing bad happen to her i dont understand why you took her away but i know im gonna have to accept the fact that she is gone well actually i cant so i wont aaliyah if you can hear me i will always love you bestie im still going to remember the good time we had together your laugh and everything i want you to know that i care still i care for you i know we was supose to have done some fun things when you came back but that not gonna happened LILI  i just ask that you watch over me and shawn and make our relationship strong and healthy LILI i love you baby girl
                                                amen 
after i prayed i took a shower then layed in my bed shawn came in and i layed my head on his chest and i put my leg over his and i feel asleep in his warm embrace and i felt a little better 

to be continued 
comment please i love you all's comments <3 

i love you

today shawn wants to take me to the fair and just because im a big ass kid im so excited he wants to go around 7 so it can be dark out . right now it's only 5 but he is coming over to pick me up then were going to his house to chill until 7 i've never been to his house so im kinda happy that he wants me to come over . nobody know about our relationship i haven't told my family yet and he haven't told his family yet. its alot of rumors on the internet saying that we might be together . everytime i go out someone always come to me and ask if me and him are together they also do the same to him but when were together in public its so hectic its camera all in our face asking us the same question over and over im not ready to tell the world or my family about me and shawn's relationship because im not really positive if he is going to be faithful and im not bout to be played in front of the whole world i guess ill tell them when i feel he is really committed to me . anyways i deiced to dress down in something cute i wore a blue shirt that had pink and purple designs on it then i put on some dark blue skinny jean with some blue heels . i love heels i had my first pair when i was bout 13 . after i put my clothes on i decided to leave my hair down and not to put any make up or well i put some lip gloss on but that was bout it .. oh yeah i also released 2 singles they both turned out to be number one hits one called naughty girl and the other called baby boy that i did with sean paul.im almost done with the album its coming along really well i want shawn to be on this song im writing its called  thats how you like it im not done with it but its almost finished .shawn arrived 20 minutes later and i grabbed my coat and rushed out the door i got in the car and he said i look beautiful then he gave me a quick kiss but i wanted a longer one so i grabbed his face and kissed him longer he just looked at me and i laughed it took us about 10 minutes to get to his house i didnt know he stayed this close to me  we sat i the car and talked while i was looking at his house it was so beautiful and huge 

(bey)jay this is beautiful
(shawn)thank you but did you just say jay
(bey)yes . i did shawn but i wanna see the inside
(shawn)ok. but i dont really have that much furniture
(bey)why.?
(shawn)because.. im waiting for you to furnish it
(bey)oh really now...aww shawn thats sweet but im not ready to live with you yet
(shawn)i understand 
(bey)thank you but let see it 

i can respect that bey is not ready to move in with me i mean we only been together for 2 weeks ill wait as long as i have to i want her to know that im serious about being with her . i showed her around my house and she was amazed that it was so big but i dont really have that much furniture because like i said im really waiting in her to furnish it  me and bey chilled at my house and she mad herself at home she took off her shoes and went and sat on the couch idk what it is about country people they always taking their shoes off (thats true im a country girl and i always have my shoes off) i was happy that she was making her self at home because my house is her house i asked her was she hungry and she said yea so i made both of us some food and it took about 30 minutes then we started eating

(bey)mmm shawn i dint know you could cook this is amazing
(shawn)yea my mom taught me
(bey)my mom taught me too 
(shawn)you can cook
(bey)omg your such a dummy did i just say my mom taught me how to cook
(shawn)*laughing*well excuse me 
(bey)*laughing*shawn im so excited i love going to the fair 
(shawn)im glad you do i rented out the fair from 7-10 so we wont have people coming up to us asking about out relationship 
(bey)thank you because i really didnt feel like going through it today i just wanna have fun what time is it im ready to go
(shawn)*looks at his phone*its only 6:43 calmed down ok we still have time to spend to gather and i have something for you ok 
(bey)ok what is it
(shawn)close you eyes
(bey)ok *closes her eyes*
(shawn)ok open

when i opened my eyes shawn had a ring that look like a wedding ring but he said it wasnt he said it was a promise ring he said that i have to promise to be faithful and honest and i said i promise then he put one on his self and said that he promises that he will never hurt me or cheat one me he said he will always be faithful and honest and never do anything to hurt me like lyndell did i was crying and eveything on the inside of the ring it said bey and jay 4 ever and a day i hugged him and cried on his shoulder while he hugged me back then i broke the hug and i kissed him then i starred into his eyes and said i loved him after i said that i felt nervous but i also felt relived he said he loved me too then he kissed me again its something about this man that put my love on top i know or sure that he is the one i want to be with for the rest of my life i can feel it in my soul that he is the one god created for me

wow she said she loved me i love her too damn i would never think that i would love another women besides my mom . i wanna be with this girl for the rest of my life she might be the one i make ms.carter who knows . anywho we watch tv she was cuddle under me and i was holding her then 7 came and we headed to the fair when we got there she wanted to get on every single ride about 1 hour and 30 minutes later she was complaining about her feet hurting she shouldnt off wore heels but me being the loving boyfriend i am i put her on my back and we went on the roller coaster and that shit was scary as hell.

(bey)omg shawn that was fun dont you just lovvvvvvvvvve roller coaster
(shawn)no that shit was scary 
(bey)*grabs his face and use her baby voice*awww poor baby was scared of the wittle woller coaster
(shawn)no i wasnt scared
(bey)mmhhmm but anyways lets go im ready to go
(shawn)ok

me and shawn left but first we stop by my house so i cant get some night clothes because i decided to stay the night with shawn i went in and i got my shorts and my dumbass forgot to get a shirt shawn told me not to worry about that i could wear one of his i said ok and then we left and went to his house his bedroom was beautiful i could see myself sleeping in this room with him every night he said that i could but my clothe on my side of the closet and i was like my side and he was like yes and then i went to the closet and it was literally 2 side on one side all of his clothes was there and then the other side was empty i came out the closet and he said that he ran me a bath i got in the bath and it was so warm it felt so amazing he had bubbles in it that smelled so good i sat in the bath for a good 20 minutes before i washed up and got out  i put a towel on the i went in the room to get my clothes and shawn was just laying in the bed staring at me

damn she look good in that towel i can see her being my wifey one day it took her about 10 minutes to get dressed she came out wearing my shirt and these short that look good on her she had her hair wrapped up then she got in bed and she was so far away from me so i pulled her in and kissed her man i want to fuck her but imma wait. we watched Friday and she laughed through the whole movie i swear i love that laugh of hers she is so beautiful after we watched Friday she feel asleep and i held her in my arms and just looked at her until i feel asleep. this relationship is gonna last for a eternity 

TO BE CONTINUED 

PS. HAVE A HAPPY THANKS GIVING 

COMMENT PLEASE :)

things are changing

today im off so i really dont have nothing to do today. i took a shower and then threw my hair into a quick bun and i but some sweat pants and a t-shirt on then i went a started watching sponge bob . after about 30 minutes i started to get hungry and yes i can cook my mom taught me  and she taught me well i made me some eggs and bacon and pancakes and i went back into the living room and ate and started watching this movie Carmen it was a pretty cool movie i would love to do a remake of that movie that would be cool . the movie went off around 12:46 then i got up and started cleaning just so i can have something to do. after i cleaned my apartment i went out to the pool because its summer time and i havent got a chance to go yet so here is my chance to go while i can . im so happy i got paid yesterday so i got 300 dollars in my pocket well make that 100 hundred because my bills are 200 anyways i changed into my bathing suit it was a two piece and it was really cute it really complimented my curves i dont wanna brag but i think i have a nice body anyways i put a dress on over my bathing suit and i headed to the pool when i got there i sat down and layed in the sun trying to get a tan i had my shades on and i put the sun tan lotion on and sat in the sun 20 minutes later i noticed it got dark like some one was standing in front of me blocking the sun  i raise my shades up to the top of my head . and to my surprise shawn was standing there then he asked if he could sit i said its a free country do as you please  then i layed back down and finished getting my tan he kept making small talk but for some reason i didnt want to talk after a while i was getting annoyed so i went and got in the pool and started just floating around 

wow she is even more beautiful with that bathing suit on but she is really being  a bitch she dont see that im trying to make a effort i dont even wanna play her i wanna be with her if she would give me the chance im not gone give up so i went in the pool as well she was floating so i decided to scare her i crept behind her and picked her up she screamed

(bey)what the fuck shawn you scared me
(shawn)im sorry i wanted to mess with you but you should of seen yo face ha ha priceless
(bey)well it wasnt funny
(shawn)it really was
(bey)oh was it *splash water in his face*
(shawn)oh no you didnt *picks her up*
(bey)no let me go you betta not throw me in that water shawn im not playing
(shawn)to late *throw her in the water*
(bey)*laughing*shawn i told you not to do that
(shawn)to late now
(bey)whatever 

me and shawn played around a little more then i got out and dried off well we both did i actually enjoyed being with him i can tell we are gonna be good friends its funny i never would think i would be friends with rapper jayz . he is cool to be around i told him that i had to go home and he said he did to then he asked if i wanted to come to the studio after i got done so we can start working on my music and i agreed then i left and on my way home i stopped by burger king and got me some food then i went home and changed into the sweat pants and t-shirt i had on then i called shawn and told him that i was done he said ok and he was on his way i called my mom and told her the news

(bey)omg mom guess what
(tina)wassup baby
(bey)rapper jayz signed me to his record label and we are going to start on some music today mommy im so happy my dreams are finally going to come true 
(tina)im happy for you baby 
(bey)thank you mama but i think that him i gotta go tell daddy the new please
(tina)i will bye love you baby
(bey)i love you too 

i hung up with my mommy and i got in the car and shawn was staring at me like she saw a angel i just got in and asked what studio we were going to and he told me the one at the roc-nation head quarters i said ok then my favorite song started playing which was forever my lady by jodeci i know the song is old but i still loved it i turned it up loud and i sang every word shawn looked at me in amazement . after then song was over i turned it back down and just sat there

wow beyonce has a great vocie she sound so good singing that song that all i could do was stare well i wanted to but i was driving so i couldnt and she was looking good in them sweats yup i have to make her mine. anyways we got to the studio and she had 3 songs that she wrote. i read the songs and i realized from them that she was in a bad relationship she told me that those songs are ture that. that those things really happened i was shocked because i wouldn't think her past would be so rough . i think the one that really got to me was titled me myself and i . beyonce has went through alot by the end of the right i want to show her that with me she dont have to worry about me ever hurting her . but anywho we found so beats that she could sing to. she went in there and she recorded me myself and i first then she recorded a song called a gift from a Virgo i just watched from the outside of the booth then she walked out and sat next to me.

(bey)so how was it
(shawn)that was amazing you are very talented 
(bey)thank you .. so what are you doing right now
(shawn)editing 
(bey)oh ok
(shawn)yup ... um beyonce i want to let you know something 
(bey)ok
(shawn)well with me you dont have to worry about me hurting you i actually like you your beautiful and talented and i can tell you are a amazing person to be around even know you just met me 
(bey)ill keep that in mind but you are cool to be around i didnt think you would be like this i thought you was just a regular player  that could star less about someone like me but i can see that your not like that 
(shawn)yea im not 
(bey)ok but what eles is there to do 
(shawn)well i've been writing this song title bonnie and cylde and i wanted to know if you would be bonnie
(bey)what..of course just give me the lyrics and i will do it 
(shawn)ok thank you bey i 've been waiting on a female to be on this song with me but i couldnt find the right one and you are the right one
(bey)thank you

shawn gave me the lyrics and i sang them and we recorded that song in under 1 hour i love the song its a cool song im actually starting to feel him i mean he is showing me a different person. he is showing me a dude that i need in my life i wanna be with him im just scared that he might do some shit lyndell did to me i dont want to relive another nightmare . something deep down is telling me that he wouldnt though i dont know . i put my head down and thought about life with him and it seemed like things would be amazing i could see my self being his wife and having kids someday i looked up and ours eyes meet i could see my whole future in his eyes he touch my hand and said..

(shawn)beyonce please give me a chance
(bey)with what?
(shawn)being with you
(bey)are you asking me out?
(shawn)yes
(bey)well in that case you have to ask the proper way
(shawn)and what is the proper way
(bey)you have to say beyonce will you be my girlfriend
(shawn)ok .. beyonce will you be my girlfriend
(bey)yes i will 
(shawn)for real?
(bey)yes but i only have have 3 rules
(shawn)and they are?
(bey)1. be honest with me no matter what just be honest 2. be faithful please please please and last but not least 3. dont ever hurt me physically or emotionally please i dont need a rerun of my ex
(shawn)i will follow everyone of the rules and beyonce im going to make you the queen o this industry just trust me ok
(bey)ok

me and my new boyfriend talked some more then he dropped me of and i gave him a quick kiss on the lips and boy oh boy them lips was soft as hell ..but anyways 2 weeks have past and shawn has been the best boyfriend you could ever have our song bonnie and clyde was number one on the charts i loved the song i listened to it everyday ever since the song came out alot of record labels have been calling trying to get me to sign to their label but i keep telling them im sign to roc-nation but they are not getting it when my family back in houston heard the song they were so happy with me my father was too he said i sound amazing and that he knew i would make it i guess her was right . but anyways i took the money i mad from the song and bought a bigger apartment and a new car and a whole new wardrobe i felt good about everything i knew things were gonna be different from here on out

to be continued  

start from the top

this is my second blog with a whole new twist ok ...its totally different from the first blog and maybe better ;)
*bey thoughts is red* jay thoughts are blue


im beyonce knowles and im 20 years old i just left a abusive relationship and moved to new york ive been in new york for about 2 years and im barely surviving i dont get paid enough to survive i get enough to pay my bills and then i have to find a way to eat its very tiring to think how am i gonna eat tonight. ive been through alot in my life from my ex lyndell cheating left and right and putting his hands on me then to my son getting tooken away from me and now he live in a foster home and now this. when i was a child i always wanted to be famous that was my dream to be a singer me and my 3 best friends that live in houston alexis,kelly, and michelle used to sing at my moms beauty shop and we all loved it by the way they are all doing much better then me   i aways wanted to just perform and entertaine people but thats probably will not happened . anyways i live in a little apartment in new york that has one bed room  and i work at this fast food joint down the street i have a few friends down here but not as much as i did in Houston my mom always tell me i can come live with her and my sister who is 15 but i dont want to take a chance with running into lyndell. i had to run away from him to even get here so why would i want to go back he is the reason why my son is gone this is what happened... one day me and lydell came back from a club and my cousin angie texted me giving me her new number lyndell thought it was a dude giving me his new number so he got mad and started hitting me. my son saw the whole thing and i got away and called the cops the cops came and took my son they said that me and lyndell fight to much and my son is not in a safe environment my son was only 1 then but now he is 3 and i miss him so much ..yes i know i was young when i had him but he was my only joy and happiness besides my mom and family im not giving my love to no one eles because when i do they treat me like shit i want to have a husband an start a family but who knows if that is going to happen me and my mom pray that one day it will. me and my mom is like best friends i tell her evrything i just dont tell her about when lyndell used to hit me because my mom would of tried and killed him and i cant have my mom in jail for murder ... on the other hand my father is surportive he belives in me even to this day he think that im still going to be a singer someday and that make me happy that he is still here for me but the things from my past is just too much to take in lyndell had 3 kids while we was together and i had to deal with him and his 3 kids in my home that weren't even mine. last night i wrote a song called me myself and i it talks about everything that i went throught with lyndell if i ever make a album that song is going on there . i really thought that we was going to last we was together for about 10 years because we meet when we was 8 and i left when i was 18  he made me fall so deep in love with him and i feel so stupid for that lyndell did love me at one point but then he just stopped and started changing into this monster . but enough of my horrible nightmare lets talk about something good i do gigs at clubs or resturants some time i sing and whatever i love it i have to do this to get more money . its actually fun i remember one day i did a gig and i met rapper jayz he didnt say nothing he just looked at me. while i sang he was looking at me like he wanted to say something but he didnt so i went to him when i was done performing and i introduced myself

(bey)hello im beyonce and you must be rapper jayz
(shawn)hello beyonce and im shawn 
(bey)oh im sorry i thought you might of wanted me to call you jayz
(shawn)please callme anything you want 
(bey)well i like shawn 
(shawn)ok well ms.beyonce you can sing you have a amazing voice . your voice is just what the label need will you sing with my label
(bey)ummmm no thank you i just wanted to come introduce myself because you were staring like you wanted to say something
(shawn)but i would really like to get to know you if you would let me 
(bey)bye shawn

oh noooo im not going there i know his type i know the games her play . he aint here for no relationship he is a playa and im not the one to be played he talking bout he want to get to know me um i think not but i probably should of took the record deal offer ... no then he probably would try to come on to me and im not here for it im not ready to be with anyone unless i feel he is the right one for me and right now he is not the one and he aint even all that cute i mean he got some decent lips but he aint all that .. when i walked away i could feel his eyes still on me looking at me while i was walking away.

damn that girl is fine as hell and that ass.. perfect damn and that voice of hers is out of this world she make me for get all about my girl rihanna well she aint my girl she think she is doe but to me she my hoe i'ont love that girl ...i really want to get to know beyonce hopefully ill see her again one day...no wait fuck that im bout to go get her..when i caught up with her she was just about to open her car door and form the looks of her car she dont make that much money probably but anyways i grabbed her arm and she turned around with a nigga get the fuck off me i guess someone used to hit her because when i grabbed her she kinda went in a defensive mood

(shawn)beyonce i really wanna get to know you if you would please give me a chance
(bey)shawn i need to get home
(shawn)well can i please have your number
(bey)will you leave me alone so i can get home
(shawn)yes i promise
(bey)fine *gives him her number*goodbye shawn
(shawn)if it is not too much to ask can i get a hug
(bey)your pushing it
(shawn)ok im sorry ill call you tonight
(bey)ok bye now
(shawn)bye beautiful

omg did he just call me beautiful i havent heard that from a dude in some years .hhhhm i might give him a chance .. anyways i went home and called my girls because i always call them before i go to bed

(alexis)hey bey girl how you doing
(bey)hey love is the girls with you
(alexis)bitch you know they are 
(bey)*giggles*ok put it on speaker i got news 
(alexis)*puts it on speaker*ok spill it
(bey)well i went to this gig tonight and that rapper jayz was there and..
(kelly)jayz as in the rapping playing hoes nigga
(bey)yes now let me finish damn
(chelle)go head
(bey)so anyways he was there and he was staring at me so i went to introduce myself and he wanted to sign me to his label but i declined the offer
(alexis)what bey you a dumbass
(bey)shut the fuck up and let me finish god 
(alexis)ok
(bey)like i was saying i didnt accept or whatever and he wanted to get to know me but i walked off and when i was about to open my car door he stopped me talking bout he really wanted to know me and asked for my number and said he was gonna call me tonight and he called me beautiful 
(chelle)oh shit bey is about to be with a rapper 
(bey)no i am not
(kelly)you aint gots to lie Craig you aint got to lie
(alexis)only yo ass would say that kelly *laughing*
(bey)*phone beeps*aye yall dont hang up some strange number calling *clicks over* hello
(shawn)hey is this beyonce
(bey)yes and you are ?
(shawn)its me shawn
(bey)o ok hold on please 
(shawn)ok
(bey)*clicks over*girls ill call yall back thats him
(alexis)mm.. mm.. mm. ok bye bey 
(kelly)and you betta call back 
(bey)whatever*clicks back over)ok im back 
(shawn)ok um beyonce would you please meet me somewhere 
(bey)i dont know i dont really know you because i just met you and i know your type and i am not the one to be played 
(shawn)well...can i send a driver to come get you 
(bey)tell me where were going first
(shawn)this nice resturant i want to get to know you and tell you about myself
(bey)ok what time should be ready ?
(shawn)9
(bey)ok i live at *gives him her address* bye *hangs up*

well damn that was rude i couldnt even say bye back i hope she like me shit im willing to change to be with her she fine as hell 

i hope this is for the best and not for the worst he seems like he is really into me but shit that is what playas do they make you think they like you when they dont i hope shawn is not doing that . but anyways i wanted to look my best so i put my braids into a ponytail with a red t-shirts and some pants and some red heels i applied a little make up but not that much i sprayed some perfume on then i waited on the couch until i heard the car horn i walked outside of my apartment building and i saw this beautiful limo i havent rode in a limo ever in my life so this was new . the ride took about 15 minutes then we finally pulled up the driver opened my door and i walked in the restaurant. it was a nice little place nothing to special but i know i probably couldnt afford it . shawn pulled out my chair and i sat

(shawn)thanks for joining me beyonce
(bey)please calm me bey or bb its dosent matter
(shawn)ok well. bey im glad you came 
(bey)yup im here soooo.
(shawn)i wanna start off by saying i think you are a beautiful women and can you please sign to my label
(bey)yes ill sign to your label i thought about it and this could be my big break 
(shawn)cool so imma do everything for you ok all you have to do is sing
(bey)umm ill have you know i do not need anyone to do anything for me im very independent 
(shawn)i know i can tell im just saying
(bey)mmhhm but anyways i want to wright all my songs for my first album
(shawn)thats cool ....beyonce?
(bey)yes 
(shawn)there is something about you that make me wanna change i know you know me as the big rapper or playa but for you i would change and im not just saying this to sleep with you i dont even plan on sleeping with you im saying it because i mean it 
(bey)aww thats nice shawn
(shawn)i want to make you feel special because you are
(bey)shawn if you want a relationship with me we can stop here i cant be with any one right now im not fully over my old relationship  
(shawn)ill wait as forever long it'll take

well damn this man is different then what i think of him hell he aint even half bad looking either .. could this be something special ? i dont know we finished having our conversation and we ate and i actually enjoyed myself he took me home and gave me a little peck on the cheek and his lips are so soft i went in my house and layed down on my bed and just layed there thinking about everything that happened something is telling me he is special could he be the one?