start from the top

this is my second blog with a whole new twist ok ...its totally different from the first blog and maybe better ;)
*bey thoughts is red* jay thoughts are blue


im beyonce knowles and im 20 years old i just left a abusive relationship and moved to new york ive been in new york for about 2 years and im barely surviving i dont get paid enough to survive i get enough to pay my bills and then i have to find a way to eat its very tiring to think how am i gonna eat tonight. ive been through alot in my life from my ex lyndell cheating left and right and putting his hands on me then to my son getting tooken away from me and now he live in a foster home and now this. when i was a child i always wanted to be famous that was my dream to be a singer me and my 3 best friends that live in houston alexis,kelly, and michelle used to sing at my moms beauty shop and we all loved it by the way they are all doing much better then me   i aways wanted to just perform and entertaine people but thats probably will not happened . anyways i live in a little apartment in new york that has one bed room  and i work at this fast food joint down the street i have a few friends down here but not as much as i did in Houston my mom always tell me i can come live with her and my sister who is 15 but i dont want to take a chance with running into lyndell. i had to run away from him to even get here so why would i want to go back he is the reason why my son is gone this is what happened... one day me and lydell came back from a club and my cousin angie texted me giving me her new number lyndell thought it was a dude giving me his new number so he got mad and started hitting me. my son saw the whole thing and i got away and called the cops the cops came and took my son they said that me and lyndell fight to much and my son is not in a safe environment my son was only 1 then but now he is 3 and i miss him so much ..yes i know i was young when i had him but he was my only joy and happiness besides my mom and family im not giving my love to no one eles because when i do they treat me like shit i want to have a husband an start a family but who knows if that is going to happen me and my mom pray that one day it will. me and my mom is like best friends i tell her evrything i just dont tell her about when lyndell used to hit me because my mom would of tried and killed him and i cant have my mom in jail for murder ... on the other hand my father is surportive he belives in me even to this day he think that im still going to be a singer someday and that make me happy that he is still here for me but the things from my past is just too much to take in lyndell had 3 kids while we was together and i had to deal with him and his 3 kids in my home that weren't even mine. last night i wrote a song called me myself and i it talks about everything that i went throught with lyndell if i ever make a album that song is going on there . i really thought that we was going to last we was together for about 10 years because we meet when we was 8 and i left when i was 18  he made me fall so deep in love with him and i feel so stupid for that lyndell did love me at one point but then he just stopped and started changing into this monster . but enough of my horrible nightmare lets talk about something good i do gigs at clubs or resturants some time i sing and whatever i love it i have to do this to get more money . its actually fun i remember one day i did a gig and i met rapper jayz he didnt say nothing he just looked at me. while i sang he was looking at me like he wanted to say something but he didnt so i went to him when i was done performing and i introduced myself

(bey)hello im beyonce and you must be rapper jayz
(shawn)hello beyonce and im shawn 
(bey)oh im sorry i thought you might of wanted me to call you jayz
(shawn)please callme anything you want 
(bey)well i like shawn 
(shawn)ok well ms.beyonce you can sing you have a amazing voice . your voice is just what the label need will you sing with my label
(bey)ummmm no thank you i just wanted to come introduce myself because you were staring like you wanted to say something
(shawn)but i would really like to get to know you if you would let me 
(bey)bye shawn

oh noooo im not going there i know his type i know the games her play . he aint here for no relationship he is a playa and im not the one to be played he talking bout he want to get to know me um i think not but i probably should of took the record deal offer ... no then he probably would try to come on to me and im not here for it im not ready to be with anyone unless i feel he is the right one for me and right now he is not the one and he aint even all that cute i mean he got some decent lips but he aint all that .. when i walked away i could feel his eyes still on me looking at me while i was walking away.

damn that girl is fine as hell and that ass.. perfect damn and that voice of hers is out of this world she make me for get all about my girl rihanna well she aint my girl she think she is doe but to me she my hoe i'ont love that girl ...i really want to get to know beyonce hopefully ill see her again one day...no wait fuck that im bout to go get her..when i caught up with her she was just about to open her car door and form the looks of her car she dont make that much money probably but anyways i grabbed her arm and she turned around with a nigga get the fuck off me i guess someone used to hit her because when i grabbed her she kinda went in a defensive mood

(shawn)beyonce i really wanna get to know you if you would please give me a chance
(bey)shawn i need to get home
(shawn)well can i please have your number
(bey)will you leave me alone so i can get home
(shawn)yes i promise
(bey)fine *gives him her number*goodbye shawn
(shawn)if it is not too much to ask can i get a hug
(bey)your pushing it
(shawn)ok im sorry ill call you tonight
(bey)ok bye now
(shawn)bye beautiful

omg did he just call me beautiful i havent heard that from a dude in some years .hhhhm i might give him a chance .. anyways i went home and called my girls because i always call them before i go to bed

(alexis)hey bey girl how you doing
(bey)hey love is the girls with you
(alexis)bitch you know they are 
(bey)*giggles*ok put it on speaker i got news 
(alexis)*puts it on speaker*ok spill it
(bey)well i went to this gig tonight and that rapper jayz was there and..
(kelly)jayz as in the rapping playing hoes nigga
(bey)yes now let me finish damn
(chelle)go head
(bey)so anyways he was there and he was staring at me so i went to introduce myself and he wanted to sign me to his label but i declined the offer
(alexis)what bey you a dumbass
(bey)shut the fuck up and let me finish god 
(alexis)ok
(bey)like i was saying i didnt accept or whatever and he wanted to get to know me but i walked off and when i was about to open my car door he stopped me talking bout he really wanted to know me and asked for my number and said he was gonna call me tonight and he called me beautiful 
(chelle)oh shit bey is about to be with a rapper 
(bey)no i am not
(kelly)you aint gots to lie Craig you aint got to lie
(alexis)only yo ass would say that kelly *laughing*
(bey)*phone beeps*aye yall dont hang up some strange number calling *clicks over* hello
(shawn)hey is this beyonce
(bey)yes and you are ?
(shawn)its me shawn
(bey)o ok hold on please 
(shawn)ok
(bey)*clicks over*girls ill call yall back thats him
(alexis)mm.. mm.. mm. ok bye bey 
(kelly)and you betta call back 
(bey)whatever*clicks back over)ok im back 
(shawn)ok um beyonce would you please meet me somewhere 
(bey)i dont know i dont really know you because i just met you and i know your type and i am not the one to be played 
(shawn)well...can i send a driver to come get you 
(bey)tell me where were going first
(shawn)this nice resturant i want to get to know you and tell you about myself
(bey)ok what time should be ready ?
(shawn)9
(bey)ok i live at *gives him her address* bye *hangs up*

well damn that was rude i couldnt even say bye back i hope she like me shit im willing to change to be with her she fine as hell 

i hope this is for the best and not for the worst he seems like he is really into me but shit that is what playas do they make you think they like you when they dont i hope shawn is not doing that . but anyways i wanted to look my best so i put my braids into a ponytail with a red t-shirts and some pants and some red heels i applied a little make up but not that much i sprayed some perfume on then i waited on the couch until i heard the car horn i walked outside of my apartment building and i saw this beautiful limo i havent rode in a limo ever in my life so this was new . the ride took about 15 minutes then we finally pulled up the driver opened my door and i walked in the restaurant. it was a nice little place nothing to special but i know i probably couldnt afford it . shawn pulled out my chair and i sat

(shawn)thanks for joining me beyonce
(bey)please calm me bey or bb its dosent matter
(shawn)ok well. bey im glad you came 
(bey)yup im here soooo.
(shawn)i wanna start off by saying i think you are a beautiful women and can you please sign to my label
(bey)yes ill sign to your label i thought about it and this could be my big break 
(shawn)cool so imma do everything for you ok all you have to do is sing
(bey)umm ill have you know i do not need anyone to do anything for me im very independent 
(shawn)i know i can tell im just saying
(bey)mmhhm but anyways i want to wright all my songs for my first album
(shawn)thats cool ....beyonce?
(bey)yes 
(shawn)there is something about you that make me wanna change i know you know me as the big rapper or playa but for you i would change and im not just saying this to sleep with you i dont even plan on sleeping with you im saying it because i mean it 
(bey)aww thats nice shawn
(shawn)i want to make you feel special because you are
(bey)shawn if you want a relationship with me we can stop here i cant be with any one right now im not fully over my old relationship  
(shawn)ill wait as forever long it'll take

well damn this man is different then what i think of him hell he aint even half bad looking either .. could this be something special ? i dont know we finished having our conversation and we ate and i actually enjoyed myself he took me home and gave me a little peck on the cheek and his lips are so soft i went in my house and layed down on my bed and just layed there thinking about everything that happened something is telling me he is special could he be the one?